When stuff like that happens - when, as a friend puts it, life gets lifey - my first reaction used to be to hunker down with a cup of coffee (or if it's late, a glass of wine) and draw up detailed plans for getting everything fixed, followed by sceduling it all in the google calendar and sending out a flurry of email. All the while, I'm working myself into a jaw-clenching state of adreneline-fueled anxiety.
But there's a saner way, one that I've made my go-to response: play or sing. Strum on the dulcimer, practice chorus material or go for a drive and do car karaoke. It's even better with a friend along. After the two of you have been belting out old Supremes tunes together for twenty minutes, everything starts to look better even though it isn't.
What's really strange and wonderful, however, is that the problems get solved more quickly and easily after a good jam session. I don't understand how this works but I'll take it.
In the various groups I've been in, members have dropped out "just for a little while" when life got lifey - when mom fell down and broke her hip, someone lost a job or the basement flooded - and I've always had to stifle the urge to run after them saying, "Wait, don't go! You need music more than ever now!" On the surface it may seem like a luxury but I've seen choir friends become dispirited or even depressed after completely laying aside music in order to devote all their spare time to fixing problems or responding to an emergency.
It can be hard to keep on singing when you feel as though you should be fixing. Depending on your family culture, you might be penalized for not dropping everything that others label as frivolous. But how useful will you be if you're feeling resentful while "helping" others, or if your attitude sours? Recent studies, including one done by a team at Oxford, show that choral singing (and probably, any kind of music-making) boosts both mood and productivity.
It seems to me that sticking with a joy-full activity in spite of overwhelming work/home/people problems is like sending a signal to Life, The Universe & Everything: no, I won't quit and you can't make me! I've noticed that people who send out this signal during tough times often seem to receive better treatment from Life, The Universe & Everything than do the folks who knuckle under to "necessity" and stop doing what makes them happy.
Don't stop singing, even when life gets lifey. Maybe singing won't solve your problems but you'll be able to attack them with a more hopeful attitude and it's more likely that your situation will end on a good note.
